/the click that won't come/ that's what you were thinking was it not? sit down, no sit down really, again, if you feel you don't got this then you better find a way to sit down while you're sitting down, cause clearly you aren't sunk into that seat enough to focus;
hey, I'm talking to you, don't drift, /walk on this line, look straight ahead/, you know this already, take all the time you have to but do not let that energy of yours splay off your platter, if you can't write then blow into the balloon, we're not even trying to make diamonds here, it really doesn't take as much pressure as you imagined it would, sit, stay, you masochist;
no self therapy, /this is literally self therapy/ we are on a mission to unsheathe fine layers of concentrated substance, and to not swear once while doing it, /I won't even swear at the end as a punch line, who do you think you are?/ I am, is what I mean to say, self dialogue is just a pair of mirrors with a subject fixed between them, it's a misconception that one mirror is sufficient to do this, but it goes unnoticed since these mirrors obviously don't need to be actual, so most people get away with one physical and one abstract, usually in a bathroom or something, multiple abstracts usually requires familiarity enough with abstracts such that one can't help but pick up on them when they appear; /losing the plot, making no sense/
/what are we talking about?/ comes next, followed a paragraph or two by /the point/, followed between by insecurity and anguish over having to have a point, always frustrated you can't be quantum, you can't be every thought object free floating in your sphere of vision with hope of having impact or manifestation of any note, this truly is decide and its consequences, /ha ha ha/ uh oh, getting stuck again are we? well as long as we're deciding things I've decided I have the capacity to forgive you, partly because growing is about doing some of the thing you were doing before while doing the thing you've come into as the new norm or principal, uh oh I'm looking superficially centrist again, /this is approximately where the swear was going to go/ but do centrists even exist? kind of a feat, really, being all exactly in the middle like that at the planck scale, it's like one of those math formula things where the line goes exponentially down and then infinitely up at a pin prick point, that probably exists somewhere, I won't even ask around about it, because apparently that's what this nicer mood of a paragraph is all about, the point of this point;
inevitable closure, and the inevitable cheesy sincerity about the whole thing in spite of all the active self-analytical sarcasm, I feel divided, in like a math rock but very slow type of way, almost swore again there, no no no, which brings me back to the /shivers, because it's winter/ point, which is to do things I guess, never been able to put my finger on the nose, sincerity is scary indeed, but in like a really mundane and awkward way, when you make a joke to your best buddy that was meant sarcastically and you both play it off as such, but one or both of you knows it was serious, and it's so stupid that it would be serious, because it wasn't that serious at all, something with the impact of a butterfly landing on a cotton ball shouldn't get to you like that /you think/, regardless, there it is anyway, aren't we feeling candid? yes, yes very much so indeed;